Before I Die

Downham, Jenny. Before I Die. Oxford: David Fickling Books, 2007.

Tessa Scott’s body is failing her. Diagnosed with leukemia at 12, she has fought unsuccessfully for six years to beat the disease and now the cancer is no longer responding to treatments. Before the cancer can completely ravage her already ruined body, Tessa decides that she is going to make a list of the things that she would like to do before she dies. Items like trying drugs, having sex, committing crimes and saying yes to everyone for a single day top the list that continues to grow throughout the novel. Tessa’s friend Zoey and neighbor Adam (who Tessa meets the afternoon after checking off her first item), help Tessa check off different things. Soon Tessa and Adam become mutually attracted to each other and begin a relationship. Tessa’s father, a single parent, tries to protect Tessa as much as he can, but Tessa refuses to sit still and just die. She continues to go through her list, occasionally stopped along the way by her ever-worsening disease. Eventually, after a valiant fight and lasting longer than even doctors expected, the cancer begins to take over Tessa’s body and renders her languid and lethargic. Captured in quick prose, the last chapter of the novel relates the last memories and thoughts of the teen as she leaves the world, surrounded by her friends and family.

Death is a topic not for the light of heart, but Jenny Downham does the best to create a portrayal of a teen facing the end of her life prematurely in a realistic and readable way. Tessa is given a wide range of emotions, from anger, confusion and lust to happiness, tenacity and discernment. As the reader sees Tessa through her last months, each facet of her life is shown, but the cause of her journey, the reason for her writing the list is never far from the forefront of the story. The effect of her sickness on the people in her life is also treated with a great deal of attention, giving depth and quality to the secondary characters in the novel. Occasionally, however, the characters are presented with emotions for which no motivation is given. Furthermore, Tessa’s mother is reintroduced into the picture, characterized as someone who left her family, but flits in and out of the story without much regard.

Downham has a tremendous gift in creating elegant prose that describes the scene. The Kirkus Review of the work remarks on this “lurid language [that] makes a painful journey bearable, beautiful and transcendent.” This talent is especially evident toward the end of the work; Tessa is nearing the end of her voyage and she observes she “can’t hold onto anything. Like a tree losing its leaves. I forget even the thing I was thinking.” At times though, the imagery can be too heavy handed and may lose a reader. Asides expounding on the feel of the dirt, the smell in the air and the colors of the leaves feels overly focused and often forced. Not so forced, however, is the theme of the book, which is difficult to do with such subject matter. Tessa soon realizes that is not about the things that she has done, but rather the manner in which she completed them and who stands beside her as she accomplishes these things.

Book jacket found on: http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/d/jenny-downham/before-i-die.htm